Well this being the season of peace and goodwill, I find myself online researching pepper sprays, my old peeper spray has gone tits up on me, and time for something more effective, because I’m two bad days away from killing my neighbor’s barking pitbull.
No, no… hear me out.
I share a common fence with the aforementioned neighbors, and the bloody thing attacks the fence like some crazed Wendigo, whenever I dare actually inhabit my own yard. . I’ve talked to the neighbors but they seem to have no control over the ‘child mauler in training’. It’s about 70lbs so not full grown.
I mean I’ll walk over to my fence and heaven forbid I touch my fence, the damn thing starts attacking my hand, luckily I was smart enough to have gloves that time. These are new neighbors, they just moved in, I’ve been here years, and they seem quiet enough, which is all I ask of neighbors, so I try and be understanding and make nice with the spawn of satan. But that damn dog is not having it.
So still trying to find a non-harmful solution, I’ve used that ‘dog off’ spray on my fence, as well as the Ultrasonic Bark Off device they advertise on infomercials. Both pretty damn useless.
Well not quite, there’s two dogs, the pitbull, and one that’s like a Jack Russell Terrier/Collie mix, that one is actually cool, and only barks cause the other one acts up, and he seems not to want to bark if I have the Bark off going, but that pitbull, no effect whatsoever.
So time to move to plan three. Yes three. Plan one was make friends with the vicious demon dog… not happening. Plan two… The chemical and ultrasonic bark stoppers, useless and expensive. So plan three, I’m going to put my hand on my fence, if that stupid dog goes to maul my poor knuckles again, which of course it will, I’m going to say “no, release”, which of course it’s going to ignore, and then I’m going to spray the goddamn beast in the snout with pepper spray.
And if it gives me anymore lip, I’m going to put the damn thing down, with my handy dandy blackjack.
And that’s going to be my Holiday present to myself.
Don’t look at me like that.
I am not a dog hater.
I’ve had dogs, but my dogs were well trained, not like this baying demon. They are grooming this dog to be vicious, and normally I wouldn’t care if your dog was guarding a junk yard, but this is a residential neighborhood, and you have it next to my house.
I’m not about to have that dog constantly attacking that fence, and getting bolder by the day. Heaven forbid my nieces or nephews come over, and that thing decides to bite or attack them when they are at the fence. I would kill it. No if, ands or buts, I would end it.
So the pepper spray plan seems like a nice humane alternative to me having to put the dog down permanently.
Doubtless the neighbors won’t be the happiest, but that’s on them. I told them they need to keep their dog from attacking.
And don’t worry, I’m not using any of those crazy, heavy concentration sprays with UV dye in it and all that nonsense, I don’t know, that just seems a bit wrong to do to anyone or anything.
If I’ve got to take down a pcp fiend, or a mad drunk, or a wild dog, okay, I’ll hit you with the pepper spray, but UV dye??? Really? With all but un-removeable ultraviolet dye… now that’s just wrong.
That’s got to be against some kind of Geneva convention. And yes unlike most morons who buy pepper spray, I’m actually also buying the pepper spray remover, so in-case you accidentally get some in your own eye, or you spray someone accidentally, or once you have the suspect subdued, and the situation controlled, you need to end the burning and pain, you can.
I’m always amazed by all these people walking around with pepper spray, and unless they are a cop, or like me smart, not a single one of them thinks to also carry the pepper spray remover with them.
You have to know how to bring the pain, and you have to know how to end it. If for no other reason that the bad guy ends up spraying you, you can help treat yourself. And for the larger reason, it’s humane.
Simple common sense stuff.
So yeah after I mace the dog, I’ll offer them the remover.
It’s the Christmas spirit!!!