THE STRANGERS movie review! Liv Tyler, Bryan Bertino

Anyone who knows me, knows I’m pretty easy on movies. Heck look at my INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL review, I like the film while everyone else wants to lynch it up.

So when I tell you THE STRANGERS is one of the few movies I actually walked out on, you’ll understand that it has to be pretty bad. If you go by IMDB… the reviews would lead you to believe this film was the 2nd coming of SEVEN, when nothing could be further from the truth.

The film is just tired and cliched and annoying. With the characters doing every annoying cliched thing people do in stupid movies. Don’t believe your girlfriend when she tells you someone has been in the house— leave her alone while you go on some harebrained scheme— and it’s supposedly based on a true story, but I’m sure the stupidity is all the filmmakers.

I’m sitting in the theater watching Liv Tyler scurry around on the grass, with her butt sticking up and her lips pouty, and acting terrified, and as much as I welcome any chance to see Liv Tyler’s ass in the air, she’s too good an actress for this lame piece of garbage. I’m sitting in the theater and I’m bored, and I’m thinking life is too short to spend another second watching this lame piece of offal. I just don’t care about it, or how it ended, they live, they die, they move to Mars… just didn’t care.

I just think the film insulted my intelligence with these lame, cliche ridden characters. Particularly the boyfriend annoyed the heck out of me, I didn’t care if they lived or died, and just so he would stop annoying me I was leaning strongly toward die, in his case. All in all, a waste of $12 (matinee showing+parking).

That 2000+ people on IMDB rate this film by first time director Bryan Bertino, highly enough to get 7+ stars, fills me, like Bush getting elected twice. with dubiousness and more than a twinge of loathing. God we’re raising stupid people, that think banality is brilliance.

This film is not even worth a rental.

It’s worth noting a lot of the praise reviews are one time posters, which is usually a film’s PR people, trying to drum up support by posting multiple reviews. So as a rule I discount any review by someone, who has no other reviews to their credit.

That said I urge you to check out JM Kiff’s review, cause he summarizes exactly my issues with the flick, and with the “praise” for it. Check it out here

Well not wanting to leave on a negative, a far, far better movie is one that’s not even a movie, but feels like one. Doug Moench’s and Paul Gulacy’s acclaimed run on MASTER OF KUNG FU. Read reviews here

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